Today I am an emotional mess. Only, it probably didn’t start today, it probably started the second we pulled up to the house in the Airsteam and it has just been building over the last week and a half.
One thing that I struggle with is I fixate on projects. If something needs to be done (craft, home improvement, buy a TV stand, whatever) I seriously can’t do anything else until its done. Sam laughs at me and we joke about it, but I honestly don’t understand why I’m like this. Sometimes its not a big deal, and sometimes its a serious problem. Right now I think I’m falling into the problem category.
We have stuff. Lots of stuff. And I want it gone. Yesterday. I’ve listed a bunch of our larger items on KSL and Facebook and we’ve sold over $900 worth but there’s still piles. Everywhere. Its not DONE. Until all we have in the house is our beds, dressers, furniture my siblings are taking and what we’ll take with us in the Airstream or put into storage I won’t be happy.
I really need to slow down.
And I don’t know how.
Technically we don’t have to be out of our house until June 23rd. JUNE! That’s like 2 months away. Why am I in such a hurry?
I’m also a terrible mother when I’m here. Remember the awesome-always-adventuring-with-her-kids-and-not-sick-of-them mom I was for the last 6 months? She’s disappeared. Probably has something to do with the whole fixation on getting everything cleaned out of our hour. Super awesome mom got shoved in a closet and crazy mom came out. Sigh.
I’ve really been praying a lot recently that the Lord will change my heart. That He will calm me down, and help me feel okay with my current situation. Just pray for us okay? This is hard. Harder than I thought it would be.