Suddenly I feel like I have more time. Its amazing. Even with the planning, the scouting, living in a small space and traveling frequently, I definitely feel like I have more time to fit it all in. Traveling and living in 188 square feet of movable space just gives me less to stress over. There’s no garden to weed (or plant), lawn to mow, homework to do, social obligations to meet (could be a con on this list I guess), and all the other activities that seem to fill up the cracks in my life. I’m not saying those types of things are bad, they just aren’t want I want to focus on right now.
In all fairness, the last four weeks have been abnormally crazy. Selling our stuff, spending time with friends and family, remodeling the Airstream and making quilts have kept our lives at almost a sprint. I was tired. Too tired to blog at night, too tired to edit photos, too tired to wake up early, and mostly I was just trying to keep my head above water. Between working to feed the family and working on the remodel, Sam was busy enough I felt like we never saw each other. I missed sitting across from him at the dinette in the evenings, and watching the sun come up together in the mornings. Before traveling, I don’t think I realized how much I disliked being “busy”.
One of my favorite quotes ever is by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He said, “Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life. Is it?”
So many times with my photography business I would get jealous of my peers who appeared to be “booked” or “busy” all the time. They blogged frequently, they posted to social media daily, and just seemed so popular. I wanted that. I wanted the recognition, the clients, the success. But at what cost? Without that aspect of my life pulling at my thoughts and taking time away from my family, I’m suddenly happier. Totally feels backward. I’m more happy spending that recovered time exploring with my children and editing photos of MY kids instead of someone else’s. My kids aren’t going to be little forever. While I don’t regret the time and energy I put into becoming the photographer that I am today, I also recognize that there is a time and a season for everything. Now it is time to simplify. Enjoy life. Spend time together without menial distractions while my kids are still young and I can have a greater influence on who they will become.
Sam and I sat outside and watched the sun set behind the mountains. They clouds turned from a dusty white, to a calm pink, to a blazing crimson and then faded back to dusty white again. I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to sit and watch that beautiful progression before. It was breathtaking and worth every effort it took to get here.