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Faith Mommy Diaries

Doing Hard Things

Doing Hard Things Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about how I was not a Pinterest worthy mom. There are just so many crafty, cooking things I can’t do well and that’s what seems to be all over Pinterest. What interested me most about the post, however,  were the comments I received. I was definitely not looking for praise, or “no, you are so amazing” comments but I did get some. While it made me feel all sorts of fuzzy inside, I also realized something: the ability to adapt to a difficult situation is one of our greatest blessings.

Living a high profile, unusual life may seem glamorous, difficult, and even a little crazy. To me, though, its just life. I look at a family with 6 kids (6!) and wonder how on Earth the mother spends time with them all. Or a woman that works all day to help provide for her family and still comes home to make dinner and coordinate homework. Or even a mother that has an autistic or physical disabled child who never complains but serves in love. In comparison, coming up with fun activities for my kids in new cities every week, homeschooling, and living in a small space is a breeze.

A few Sundays ago, we had a discussion in Relief Society (think Sunday School for Women) about trials and how we are put in difficult situations to make us grow and become stronger. If we put all the trials of everyone we know in a pile and were allowed to pick any of them, the majority would always choose their own. Although difficult, the Lord will never give us trials beyond our capabilities. Each trial is tailored specifically for us so that we can grow.

Amid our struggles and difficulties the Lord also blesses us with capabilities beyond our natural ability.  In a devotional address given at BYU in 2001, Elder David A. Bednar expounded on this topic in way that resonated with my soul. The purpose of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is to make bad men good, and good men better – to change our very natures. In the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin teaches that “The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord” (Mosiah 3:19; emphasis added).

Elder Bednar states that putting off the natural man, repenting of our sins, and turning to Christ is the part of the Atonement that is talked about most. Becoming like a saint, however, is often overlooked. He says, “I suspect that many Church members are much more familiar with the nature of the redeeming and cleansing power of the Atonement than they are with the strengthening and enabling power. It is one thing to know that Jesus Christ came to earth to die for us—that is fundamental and foundational to the doctrine of Christ. But we also need to appreciate that the Lord desires, through His Atonement and by the power of the Holy Ghost, to live in us—not only to direct us but also to empower us.”

It is this enabling power of the Atonement that allows us to be and do more than we ever could on our own. By relying on the power, mercy, and love of our Savior, Jesus Christ He can “strengthen us to do and be good and to serve beyond our own individual desire and natural capacity.” Elder Bednar continues, “As you and I come to understand and employ the enabling power of the Atonement in our personal lives, we will pray and seek for strength to change our circumstances rather than praying for our circumstances to be changed. We will become agents who act rather than objects that are acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:14).”

This is the beauty of the Atonement of Christ and how we can apply it our lives every single day. Rather than pray for our trials to go away and for things to be easier, we pray to be made stronger so that our burdens may become light. We adapt. We change. What may have seemed impossible only a few days before becomes easier as we rely on the strength and love of the Lord.

By design, we are mortal, weak, and unable to return to live with God on our own. It is only by relying on both the atoning and the enabling power of Christ’s Atonement that we can repent of our sins, and gradually change our very natures until we are perfected in Him.

Is living our life hard? It can be at times, but I suspect it isn’t any more difficult to us then your particular struggles are to you. In both cases, relying upon Christ will help us both be stronger.

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Most Popular Posts Musings of Sam

Are We Damaging Our Children With Travel?

Are We Damaging Our Children with TravelIn the past few months, we’ve had a number of family and friends share their concern that our travel will cause long-term emotional and psychological damage to our children. The concerns shared with us include the difficulty of making friends (especially long term friends), and a sense of ‘not belonging’ caused by not having a single place to call home.

It’s happened enough times now that I thought we should share our thoughts on the issue. Before I get started, I want to make clear that we are not offended by these concerns. They come from family and friends who love us, and they or those they know have struggled with these issues as a result of frequently moving during their childhood years. We are honored that they care enough for us to be concerned for the welfare of our kids. The thoughts we share here relate to our family, and are not intended to cast judgement upon the struggles of others.

Why ARE we traveling with our kids?

Over two years prior to starting our full-time travel, we’ve observed the effects that our travel has had on our family. In two separate, weeks long trips, we began to notice changes in both our children and ourselves as parents. The kids are filled with a sense of wonder and learning. They became much better friends with each other, becoming allies instead of enemies. Jess and I found ourselves much more aware of each child’s accomplishments and struggles. We found ourselves in a much better position to connect with them, to guide them and teach them as they grow.

THAT is our reason for travel. Neither Jess or I had goals that included the types of travel we are engaged in. Though excited by the possibilities that this lifestyle affords, we still have not set goals for a certain time or distance traveled. We will travel until it is no longer right for our family. We have plans, goals, and desires that are unable to be fulfilled during travel. As soon as the right thing for our family requires something different, we will make the required changes and fill those needs.

We travel FOR our kids, not in spite of them.

We believe that a family is the strongest bond and association that kids can have, and that no other organization can fulfill the needs as well as a family can. We believe that a strong sense of family identity is one of the most important things that will help children form their own identity. Knowing who they are stems from who their family is, and will help them relate to others more easily.

I grew up without a TV in the house because my parents deliberately chose not to have one. The friends I made at school all connected with each other through the television shows they watched, and I was unable to do so. As parents of three (later four) young boys, my parents established a pattern of hard physical labor. Our ability and willingness to work became central to our family identity. That family identity helped me form my own identity, one rooted in my ability to work. That identity made it easier to relate to other kids, despite the differences in our families and childhood experiences.

We believe that our travel and exploration will contribute to our family’s identity. We believe that seeing new places and meeting new people will expand the vision and understanding of our children, while giving them a stronger sense of who we are as a family, and they are as individuals. We are deliberately forming our family identity around WHO we are, and not WHERE we are from. Our children will surely live in various places in their life, but a sense of WHO our family is and WHO they are can conveniently travel wherever they go.

But what about friends?

Being friendly is an attribute being actively developed in our traveling children. As they meet other children along the way, they have learned how to quickly make friends, and get right down to having fun with minimal delay. Some of these other kids are met at campgrounds and state and national parks, and many are the kids of friends and family that we visit along the way.

Our kids do have long term friends, and we help them maintain these friendships though letters, phone calls, and video chats. We even use our travel to help those friendships, as we are currently on our way to meet some friends for a vacation in California. We will continue to support our children’s friendships, old and new, as we continue our travels.

So how long will we travel?

As an interesting note, those who have shared concerns with us have become concerned when they realize that our travels do not have a pre-defined end date. It appears that not the length of travel, but the undecided end of travel is the primary concern. Though I have not asked them, I suspect they would not have similar concerns if we announced that we wanted to set out on a 12 month trip around the country.

Let’s call it that then. Consider us on a 12 month trip around the country. Just be aware that it might be longer, and it might be shorter. We’ll know when we are done.

Identify Yourselves

Having benefited ourselves from a strong sense of family identity, we encourage that in other families. Your identity need not be centered around travel, or hard physical labor. It should also not be a carbon copy of another family identity, but uniquely your own, crafted to fit the needs of each family member. What is your family identity?

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Faith Musings of Sam

Intentional Living Requires Courage

Intentional Living Requires CourageSeveral months ago, in the middle of research and planning the basic logistics of this adventure, The Lord reminded us to have courage.

There are many things about this adventure that were unknown to us before we started. I’d never owned a truck, and though I’d driven a few, I had never, ever attempted to tow anything remotely similar to a 28 foot long, 7,500 pound trailer. The life we considered and researched was foreign and unknown. Challenges of every variety most certainly lay in our way. There were definitely scenarios that filled our mind with doubt and fear.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

Full of faith and trust in the Lord, we went. Within a few short months, we would find ourselves living an uncommon lifestyle. Regular school replaced with home (road?) school. Work, already at home, moved onto the road and performed quite literally here and there. Schedule known only a few days in advance, and subject to rapid change as both circumstances and opportunities require. Family relationships strengthened as adventure ensues. The utmost required of us as parents and companions, in service and support of each other and our children.

Courage then, is what we required. Perhaps not the type of courage required when faced with physical danger, but the courage of feeling fear and yet choosing to act. Of following your heart and letting go of the familiar. Of taking a chance.  To live intentionally requires courage in the face of unknown challenges and even greater unknown joy.

 Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. — Lord Chesterfield

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Mommy Diaries Photography

Zero Motivation Kind of a Day

Today is an icky, blah kind of day. I know everyone gets those, but when I have no personal space, its cold outside, and my kids are jumpy I really struggle. A lot. I can’t just send my kids off to school and curl up with a book and a cup of hot chocolate. As much as I want to want to shake this mood, part of me just wants to wallow in self pity.

Since my motivation today is zero (including, ahem, blogging) I thought I’d share some of my favorite photos so far. Maybe they’ll cheer me up.IMG_3626-Edit copyIMG_3726-2-Edit copyIMG_3797-Edit copySkidaway Island State Park-4Skidaway Island State Park-14Currently wandering-12Delaware Seashore state park playgroundIMG_0032-Edit copyIMG_1608IMG_2017IMG_2051-Edit copyIMG_2262IMG_2510-Edit copyIMG_2577IMG_2920-Edit copyIMG_3053IMG_3079-Edit copyIMG_3260IMG_3527-Edit copy

Delaware Seashore State Park-Charles W. Cullen bridge

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Faith

We Never Walk Alone

LDS Omaha Nebraska TempleIn the midst of the trials and tribulations this life has to offer us, sometimes it is difficult to remember that we are never alone. Always we have a loving Father in Heaven who guides, directs, comforts, and inspires us along our path in life. He is waiting for us to turn to Him in prayer so that He can pour out his blessings upon us.

President Ezra Taft Benson once said, “All through my life the counsel to depend on prayer has been prize above almost any other advice I have…received. It has become an integral part of me – an anchor, a constant source of strength, and the basis of my knowledge of things divine….

“…Though reverses come, in prayer we can find reassurance, for God will speak peace to the soul. That peace, that spirit of serenity, is life’s greatest blessing.”

The Apostle Paul also admonished us to “Let your request be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Answers to our prayers comes in many different ways. A feeling of comfort, a kind act from a neighbor, a friend, or even a stranger. Sometimes we are inspired to to change something in our lives that later will yield the blessing we have been yearning for. Our answers sometimes take longer than we’d like as we’ve been told that our time is not the Lord’s time.

I’d like to share an example from my life when I had an answer to a prayer and knew, without a doubt, that I don’t walk this path alone.

About a year ago, Sam and I were trying to make a decision about the direction our life should head. We had a spent a portion of the previous summer traveling in California and loved the effect it had on our family. Returning home to Lehi, Utah was very difficult for me. Having grown up not far from our home, and spent most of my life in Utah, I yearned for something different. We had never wanted to settle in Utah, but felt impressed to take the job offer when it came that would keep us there. As we prayed and pondered I felt no direction coming from the Lord. The answer was always to just “wait”.

The end of December and the beginning of January that year was the coldest in my memory. The high temperatures ranged from 10 degrees to about 18 for at least 3 weeks. I was miserable, cold, unhappy, and slightly depressed. I didn’t want to be there and the cold weather gave me something to fixate my unhappiness on.

As the first Sunday of January approached and I prepared to fast, I desperately needed relief, peace, and some assurance that we wouldn’t be left in this place for the rest of our lives. I wanted to know that we were doing the right thing for Sam’s work, that I should continue my photography business, that we could find peace and joy in our current situation and that He would lead us in His own time.

Sam was sick that Sunday, so the kids and I went to church on our own. Even though our kids are well-behaved, handling them on my own during the hour of Sacrament Meeting is never a restful thing. As we pulled out our hymn books for the opening song and began singing, however, the Spirit hit me like a ton of bricks. This song was the answer to my prayers. Tears started streaming down my face and I almost couldn’t breathe.

The words to “I Know That My Redeemer Lives” spoke peace, comfort, and understanding to the very depths of my heart.

“He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.”

I wanted to the Lord to hear my soul’s complaint, wipe away my tears, and calm my troubled heart. It was comforting to know that He did and would again comfort me in times of trial, and that is what He lives for. “Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: “I know that my Redeemer lives!”

Sometimes our answers to prayers don’t come because of our unwillingness to humble ourselves and submit our will to God. Often, we cover ourselves with a pavilion that hides us from the Lord. Maybe our pavilion is one of professional ambition, perhaps we insist on our timetable when the Lord has His own, or sometimes we are even paralyzed by fear. In the 24th and 25th verses of D&C 121 the Lord says, “For there is a time appointed for every man, according as his works shall be.”

It is only when we remove the pavilion and feel in our hearts “Thy will be done” and “in Thine own time” that the Lord can begin to work with us. Elder Eyring recently stated, “Although His time is not always our time, we can be sure that the Lord keeps His promises. For any of you who now feel that He is hard to reach, I testify that the day will come that we all will see Him face to face. Just as there is nothing now to obscure His view of us, there will be nothing to obscure our view of Him. We will all stand before Him, in person… [and] our certain reunion with Him at the judgment bar will be more pleasing if we first do the things that make Him as familiar to us as we are to Him. As we serve Him, we become like Him, and we feel closer to Him as we approach that day when nothing will hide our view.”

I testify that the Lord loves us. I know He hears and answers our prayers. It can be difficult to wait upon the Lord, but always the experience and the blessings are more beautiful because of our humility.

I sit, right now, far from our home in Utah. I am in a state park in New Mexico watching the sky turn from black, to gray, to brilliant orange as the sun comes up over the horizon. I never would have imagined this life for us on our own. The Lord truly is great and His ways are always better than ours.

**For reference, please read President Henry B. Eyring’s talk “Where is the Pavilion?” and President Thomas S. Monson’s “We Never Walk Alone”.