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Hawaii Mommy Diaries

The Problem With Being a Minimalist Snob

We’ve happily been minimalists for the last four years. After the great purge of 2014 and hitting the road, less stuff was liberating. We enjoyed less overall consumerism and prioritizing experiences over things.

We still own stuff, its just that most of our purchases are deliberate and items tend to serve at least three purposes or be used every day to justify their existence in a small space. For example, it’s no secret I love my Blendtec Blender (in fact, it came to Hawaii with me) but I make a smoothie literally everyday. We gravitate towards outdoor gear that will hold up to the abuse we put it through, as we are out adventuring at least twice as often as your normal family. In short, we have less but usually higher quality stuff.

Our Airstream is well-oiled machine. Everything has a place, everything has a purpose and we love what we have. As our friend Ann once said, “We may not have much, but what we have is our favorite”. We analyze each purchase and if something isn’t just quite right, often we’ll replace it with something better – purging the old item of course.

We’ve done such a good job with the Airstream, that recently outfitting our condo in Idaho wasn’t too hard. We basically duplicated everything in the Airstream, added an Insta-Pot for good measure and voila! Good to go. That way we didn’t have to move things back and forth, but had our favorite salad spinner, or knife set, etc.

Turns out being a minimalist also made us into minor snobs. We don’t necessarily need expensive things, but because we have less we justify spending a bit more on what we do purchase. As I mentioned, we have dialed things in and are used to what we have and our things work well in our lifestyle. Things work, and they work well.

When we jumped on a plane and came to Hawaii, however, that all went out the window. Or into the ocean, or however you want to phrase that particular idiom. After outfitting two living spaces perfectly tuned to our lifestyle, we are suddenly in a space that is not our own on an island where the culture is much more laid back, things rust out faster than you can blink, and no one cares how nice or maybe even functional things are. It just is what is is.

You can imagine the struggle.

Its a completely different experience and one we were not prepared for. Even with Airstream travel we are used to Amazon Prime 2 day shipping. If we needed something we’d maneuver ourselves into an address and two days later we’d have whatever we needed! On Hawaii, shipping takes at least a week. If not more. And since we are out in the country most stores are an hour plus driving distance and we don’t currently have a car.

Minimalism does not equal flexibility. I used to think it did. I used to think we lived this incredible flexible lifestyle, but now I’m realizing that perhaps we didn’t. Yes our location was flexible, but we still had that comfort of “home”. The familiarity of our favorite habits or meals (cilantro is $1.50/bunch so there goes most of my easy Mexican dinners!), or knowing that my kids have a shelf full of games or a bucket full of Lego’s to pull out when they felt like it.

So we are learning to plan ahead or do without. Its a great skill set to have, and one that’s been a bit neglected the last few years. There are a few things we’ve ordered and are patiently (or not so patiently waiting) for them to arrive. We’ve also bought a few used games from some college students, and snagged a sweet deal on an inflatable SUP board for the beach. Mostly, though, we are trying to let go, to dig deep and find out what we really are made of.

It just might surprise us.

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Mommy Diaries

Being an Outdoor Mom

As a Recreation Management Major at Brigham Young University I supposed I should have seen this coming. I spent my college days mountain biking, rock climbing, river rafting, skiing, and hiking with no thought about my future or involving kids in the outdoors. It was just something I loved.

Fast forward some 10 years later and one of my greatest joys is getting my kids outside and pushing our collective boundaries. There are definitely other ways to bond as a family, but for me, outdoors is best. There’s an incredible sense of accomplishment for bagging that peak or paddling this river and having our kids right alongside us.

My friend, Alyssa, over at KidProject.org wrote a blog post about what it means to her to be an Outdoor Mom. She is one of my inspirations – tackling peaks in Utah with her 3 kids, climbing in Southern Utah and honestly? Just getting out. All the time. Finding like minded moms and families has been one of our greatest successes in the outdoors. We inspire and encourage each other, and every once in awhile get outside together.

Some people may look at us like we are crazy. Or even that I’m super mom with how often we get out, how far my kids can hike, or that we’ll take our kids on a 3 day canoe trip. In reality though, being an outdoor mom is just like being any kind of mom:

Its all about persistence.

Its not taking no for an answer.

Its being uncomfortable and pushing boundaries.

Its being an example of health & strength.

Its teaching my kids strong is better than skinny.

Its kids that complain & fight.

Its also kids with positive attitudes and amazing abilities.

Just doing it all outside instead of in. I love teaching my kids they can be strong, that they can do hard things. I love showing them I can do hard things. Spending time with my kids in the outdoors opens up my eyes and give me an entirely new perspective. Becoming a mom is one of the best things I ever did.

This blog post is inspired by Nuu-Muu. We love their active, outdoor dresses for women & kids. Rachel & I both recently wore ours on a 3 day river trip and they were awesome! Make sure you check them out!

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Daily Life Faith Mommy Diaries

I’m Just Not Good Enough

I sat outside on my yoga mat with my eyes closed and just breathed. It was cold outside in south eastern Arizona, but the sun warmed my upturned face. The kids were off in the grasslands playing in their “fort” and I could hear them laughing in the distance. For a moment I was content to just be me.

For so long I’ve kept an unhealthy pace. Not content to simply write about our adventures and traveling from a journal perspective, this blogging adventure morphed into more of a business.  In order to be a “blogger” I created a laundry list of items to check off my list. Work with brands. Acquire advertising revenue. Make money. Gain followers. Attend conferences. Grow my audience. Somewhere along the journey I lost track of our original goal: Help and inspire families through outdoor adventure and travel. Soon that goal was buried under a pile of “supposed to’s”.  [perfectpullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]”What if we are normal and quiet and happy? Does that count?” -Brené Brown[/perfectpullquote]

Page after page in my personal journal over the last year talks of unhappiness, discontentment, and an overwhelming feeling of not being good enough. I’m not a good enough blogger. I don’t have enough time to keep up with all the projects in my head. I’m a horrible wife. I’m not a good enough mother. I’m a terrible at traveling full time – I can’t even keep things together. I paid too much attention to social media and somehow the majority of my self worth was determined by how many followers I had, or how many likes a particular photo received.

Its not a healthy way to live.

Last December I decided I was done. Done with pretty much everything. I was upset, depressed, and really just couldn’t get things together. I desperately wanted things to change and I finally had the courage to start saying “No”.

Its amazing the peace that a little two letter word brought into my life. Facebook came off my phone (I can’t even begin to tell you how angry it makes me), I put one of my Instagram accounts on hold, I left a group the core group of amazing women working on the 365MileChallenge project. While I still have companies and brands I love and plan to work with, I stopped soliciting new ones and have been more selective of the projects we take on.

We invented a card game. I can’t tell you how ridiculously excited I am about that.

I decided to focus my blogging more on telling our story. I carry my Kindle with me everywhere in an effort to read good books instead of mindlessly scrolling on my phone. I’ve made an effort to exercise regularly again, eat healthy, and we’ve slowed our travel pace considerably. 18 days at McDowell Mountain in Arizona was a balm for my fracture soul.

[perfectpullquote align=”left” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]”I give myself permission to slow down. I’m finally succumbing to the fact that I don’t have to DO and that I can just BE.” – Kelli France[/perfectpullquote] But, most importantly I turned my heart back to the Lord. With all my new free time I’ve concentrated on beginning my day with scripture study. Even if its just 10 minutes before I get up and get the day going, I feel more at peace and focused.  I make sure that I pray every day.  We are working hard as a family to keep the Sabbath Day holy. One of my good friends introduced me to an online institute class that is sponsored by her stake in Utah. Sisters in Scriptures is taught by truly inspired women and I’m grateful they’ve made their classes available as podcasts. Learning more about the Doctrine & Covenants through this class has also enriched my Sunday study of the same book of scripture.

Slowly but surely I feel myself pulling back from the black void I felt was imminent in my future.  Looking back I feel that perhaps I overreacted. It really couldn’t have been that bad, could it? Its amazing how easily our mind adapts and glosses over the bleaker portions of our lives. It WAS that bad, but now instead of listening to my gremlins I take time to remember what I’m grateful for. When my inner demons tell me I’m not good enough I can respond with “Yes I am. I am enough. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone.”

Categories
Daily Life Musings of Sam

Sam vs. Jury Duty – Tips for Full Time Travelers

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I spent a few days this last week as a member of a jury in a criminal trial. This is my second time serving in a jury in spite of only being summoned to service twice. I guess I have one of those faces.

Jury duty is one of the more painful civic duties for a full-time traveler. It requires being in a specific place at a specific time, just for the chance you are selected. If you are self-employed (as I am) then you also lose out on work during your service.

Being in a jury is an inconvenience, but it is educational. It also gave me more confidence in our legal system as I observed some of the inner workings of our judicial system.

In my case, the jury ruled not guilty of the serious charges against the defendant. Everyone on the jury thought something happened but there was not enough evidence to remove reasonable doubt. While the accused may have been guilty (of something) and gone free, we avoided the horror of convicting an innocent person.

I’m glad that it’s hard to convict somebody of a crime, and that we are innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.

Tips for Jury Selection for Full-Time travelers or otherwise busy folk:

Being excused from jury service is rare. Most excuses result in a delay in your service, not being excused all together.

You can shift your assigned jury time. The court knows that people have obligations and are willing to work around them. If you have a family reunion or a work conference, they will be happy to schedule your service after you return. Your jury paperwork will include instructions on how to notify the court of any such issues you have. Expect to receive another notice soon after your conflicting event.

You might be able to ask for a specific dates. Full-time travelers rarely return ‘home’, but you might be planning a trip through your home state sometime soon anyway. I delayed once because of a family reunion. When I received another notice shortly after that, and I called the jury clerk at the number listed on my summons to explain our situation. The jury clerk was both cheerful and happy to work with me, and assigned me to the week we already planned to be in town visiting family.

Even if you receive jury summons, you might not be selected for the jury. The jury selection process takes about a half-day. If you are not selected, you are usually done with your jury service for a few years. Jurors are selected in a random order. The computer system assigns you a juror number and you are selected in order unless excluded. Valid reasons for exclusion include knowing anybody involved or having a family member convicted of a similar crime. High numbers are less likely to be selected.

You will be told the expected length of the trial during the jury selection process. If you have scheduled travel, know the dates in advance. The court will ask about conflicts for the trial period, and you might be excused.

Be ready if you decide to delay. When I was first summoned, my juror number (called a reporting number on the paperwork) was in the 20s. When I delayed, my juror number was quite low. After my request for the specific dates, I was juror number 1.  Juror number 2 had also asked for a delay of one week. With low numbers, we were more likely to be selected for the jury unless we were excused for some reason. Your local court system might well run things differently, but that’s how it rolls here in Utah.

Go, and enjoy your jury service. In spite of the inconvenience I really enjoyed my time. The ‘commute’ on the local mass transit system down to the court was a nice change of pace. I learned more about the criminal court system and enjoyed the time with the other jurors. Being a good citizen is important, and I was pleased to be support our legal system in such an important role.

Categories
Musings of Sam

Teamwork and Bad Marriage Advice

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Perhaps the greatest dynamic in our marriage is teamwork. Without working together as a team, there is no sane way to manage a road trip that spans years. I don’t mean to say that Jess and I do everything together. We often split duties and spend our days doing very different things, but as a whole we try and keep our goals aligned and approach them as a team.

In church this week we had a lesson on preparing for and strengthening marriage. The lesson was in Elders Quorum (mormon speak for a group of 18 to 45ish year old men), so the class discussion involved mostly married, middle-aged men. I really enjoy Elders Quorum lessons, and discussing the Gospel of Christ together with other husbands and fathers is rewarding and motivating.

This lesson on marriage was no different, and I came away with some new thoughts and ideas on both the value of marriage and things I could do to improve my own.

Mixed in with the excellent advice was some downright terrible advice shared by the others in the class. I can’t fault these men directly, as this advice seems quite common in our culture.

Learn to say ‘Yes Dear’

This is terrible advice, and I’ve heard it from many men over the span of decades. A few years ago, I heard a coworker share that advice with another soon-to-be-married young man at the same company.

“Steve!” I said, “That is terrible advice, and you don’t follow it either!”

Steve quickly admitted so with a laugh. Though I did call Steve on his words, I did hold my tongue in my church meeting, as I was unable to find a constructive way to share my thoughts at the time.

The perspectives offered by both parties in a marriage can bring value and insight. As a couple works together to understand the desires and points of view of each other, I believe they grow stronger. Disagreements are a natural result of two persons sharing a life. Seeking to understand our spouse and trying to understand what (and not who) is right will bring us closer together.

Advising someone to capitulate to their spouse in any disagreement is simply terrible advice.

Be a Team

Adventures in life are better when you have a great partner in those adventures. I believe marriage was designed to help us grow and learn together. Being united in our goals, patient with each other, and seeking to learn from each other and the world around us is vital to creating a strong team.

Now, anybody that knows me understands that I am not the perfect husband. These ideals I write of are my goals and, well, ideals. Even with the best goal in mind my execution ranges between imperfect and downright terrible. I hope my thoughts and encouragement are worthwhile anyway.