Note: This is a post I wrote back in August when we first picked up our Airstream from Illinois. At the time I didn’t feel like I wanted to share it, but now I feel like its an appropriate addition to our Sunday posts…
We are in Louisville, Kentucky. It’s hot. And humid. And ridiculously miserable. Ironically it’s been a well-planned and eventful day. We spent both the morning and the afternoon sightseeing (indoors and well air-conditioned), dinner went well and then we figured we had an hour or so until bed time and needed to go grocery shopping, so off we went. Right as we were pulling back up to the Airstream, the rain started. And then the lightning came. It isn’t just any lightning storm though. It is close, and LOUD, the kids are frightened, and when you are living in an aluminum trailer, lightning is a bit of a concern. So we unplugged from the camp electrical box, which means no air conditioning but we felt a little better about our chances of not getting struck by lightning. I suddenly feel trapped. By the humidity, by the rain, by our impossible situation. All I want is to go OUTSIDE, but its not safe.
I fall apart. I’m ready to throw in the towel and just go home. What on Earth have we gotten ourselves in to?
“And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” – Alma 32:21
I have faith that my Heavenly Father has a plan for my life. I don’t know what it is but sometimes I’ll see glimpses. Maybe if I could just stretch around a corner my road would be laid out before me – straight and perfect. In reality though, my road is not straight. There are so many twists and turns that its difficult to see a distance at any given moment. Most of the time I take one step, then another, and when I reach the end of the light, I leap.
We just leapt. And I’m scared. And homesick. And I really have no idea how we are going to do this, but I KNOW, I know its exactly where the Lord wants us. That probably scares me the most because I don’t know why.
I believe that we are on this Earth to learn, to grow, feel pain, joy, sadness, happiness, and ultimately become perfected through Jesus Christ and return to live with Him forever. The only way for us to grow is to struggle, which by definition means to progress with difficulty.
There’s a story of a science project that tried to create the perfect environment. They created a bubble, and planted trees. No wind, no drought – just beautiful sun, rain, and good soil. All the trees became sick. Turns out that when there is wind, and drought, and bugs, the trees have to compensate. Their roots go down deep, they develop thick, strong bark, and they flourish in the face of opposition.
We are the same. In order to become perfected and ultimately like our Heavenly Father, we must face trials. Life is hard. Sometimes what the Lord requires of us is difficult. Sometimes I just want to give up. It is in those moments that I cling to my faith. The peace, the calm, the sense of direction I felt when we made this decision were overwhelming. It felt so right. That’s what I am going to hold on to when I don’t feel like I can do this.
When we are miles away from anyone we know, and the lightning is so close, the thunder so loud and it is so unbearably hot and humid that I think I am going to go crazy I know that this is our struggle. This is the test of our faith so the Lord will know that we are obedient and willing to give everything to Him if he asks.
As I curl up on the bed with my computer, my tears, and my deep-rooted faith, I hear my husband comforting our children in their little makeshift beds. He’s telling them stories from when we were dating to distract them from the intense cracking of the lightning and thunder so loud my ears ring. I hear them laugh, and for one small moment I am okay. I’m not doing this alone.
