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Mommy Diaries

But We HAVE To Do EVERYTHING

I have this problem. You see, when we are in an area I feel like we absolutely have to do everything scenic, beautiful, fun, exciting, and adventurous within 20 miles. Its ridiculous, but nevertheless, I feel that way.

We are hanging out in Portland, Oregon for the week (9 days to be exact) and I have this GIGANTIC list of things to see, museums to visit, food to eat, Amazon supplies to order, stuff to fix, and people to meet up with. So far we’ve crossed a few things off the list, but I’m finding that mostly cities make us…

TIRED.

Yes. Tired. All that running around gets to a person. I kind of want to go sit in the hammock and read a book. Only there’s no place to hang my hammock in our concrete city RV parking lot. Such a shame.

So, while there are still definites on our to-do list while we are here, I’m thinking we might need to just sit by the pool for an afternoon and just relax.

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Mommy Diaries

11 Years Is Definitely Not Long Enough

We had a great day. It consisted of no babysitter, not really anytime alone, and lots of time spent with our kids. Maybe that would bother some people, but we’ve never been much for anniversary gifts or overly elaborate celebrations (well, except for last year when he bought me an Airstream). We decided earlier this year that instead of celebrating us as a couple, we’d celebrate us as a family.

Currently Celebrating 11yrsThe kids knew about a week ago that Sam and I wanted to go hiking for our anniversary and then take them out for fish & chips. That’s it. Simple, easy, no fuss. However, it couldn’t be just a simple, easy hike like they were used to. We wanted a LONG one. They were dreading it.

“Too bad,” we said.

“You get to come.”

“It’s our anniversary and we get to pick the activity,” we argued.

We’d recently done a 5 miler up to a glacier and back, so we figured an easy 5 miles with little elevation wouldn’t cause too much whining while still giving us some time on the trails. Thankfully our arguments worked on the kids and we set off on a trail after lunch.

And then our kids hiked 8.5 miles. What we lacked in elevation we more than made up for in distance.  If this is any sign of what our future together as a family will look like, it is bright indeed.

The best part?  I get to spend it all with him. How lucky can a girl be?

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Mommy Diaries

Being the Oldest Is Difficult

Rachel really struggles sometimes, so in turn, I struggle too. As an almost 9 year old, she struggles with a lot of things, but tonight it was her position in the family line-up. I wasn’t the oldest. I have an older brother whom I annoyed and emulated to no end. So maybe he could relate to oldest child woes better than I can.

Tonight Rachel got upset over something Sam said to her. What happened wasn’t important, but typically when she gets upset the whole world falls apart. Suddenly she’s not meant to be in the family, or our church is no longer true, or she wishes she were the youngest instead of the oldest.

Most times we just have to tell her to breathe in and out until she can calm down. Sometimes she gets herself back together quickly, sometimes it takes longer.

Its times like these that I just want to hold her and make all the bad go away. I want her to be careless and free and not worried about things like that. She really is growing up and I worry, many times, about my ability to parent her.

Perhaps that’s why I feel like we need this lifestyle right now. I’m forced to get to know her. All of her. Not just the leftovers after she’s home from school and has been independently with her friends all day. I see all the good, all the bad, and everything in between. For that I truly am grateful even when she’s grumpy and won’t look at the camera and all I get is a photo of her pigtails.

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Daily Life Mommy Diaries

A Full Time Traveler’s Definition of Vacation

A Full Time Traveler's Definition of Vacation - Yes! Even We Need a Vacation

Last week I was snuggling with Andrew in our hammock at Camp Noyo looking up at the swaying Redwood trees over head. We started musing about how much we loved it there and I started thinking about how nice it was that it felt like we were on vacation.

“Andrew, when was the last time we went on an actual vacation? Do you remember?” I asked him.
“Hmmmm,” he replied. “Well, the house swap doesn’t count!”
“No,” I said. “It doesn’t. When was it before that?”

We started discussing the places we’d been and finally settled on our trip to Denver just after Christmas of 2012. I had a wedding to shoot and we decided to all go and see if we could make a “work-cation” actually work for our family. We booked a hotel room with a kitchen and a bedroom that was actually pretty discounted through the holidays and Sam planned to work at least a couple of the days while I played with the kids. So, maybe it wasn’t really a “vacation” as Sam was still working? I guess it depends on your definition. Maybe that was just a pre-curser to our current lifestyle.

As Sam and I were discussing later that evening our idea of “vacation” and what that actually meant, we realized we also had a trip in May of 2013 to Arches and Monticello, Utah for my brother’s wedding. Since we didn’t work that trip, and were mostly off-grid, that was probably closer to our idea of vacation than the trip to Denver.

[pullquote] When we live our lives traveling from location to location, its obviously not WHERE we are that defines vacation. [/pullquote] So that leads me to the question, “What exactly is a vacation for a family that travels full time?” When we live our lives traveling from location to location, its obviously not WHERE we are that defines vacation. As glamorous as our life probably sounds to most people, we do not, in fact, perpetually vacation. We work, and do school, and grocery shop, and cook, and fight, and argue and all of the good and normal things everyone else does everyday. We just move the house occasionally while we are at it. So what is the definition of a family who travels full time?

My definition of a vacation includes a couple of requirements:
1. Not working. Usually this means we need to be off grid as we are both much too tempted otherwise. No instagram, no internet, no online surfing, no work. That way, when my kids ask me to play Monopoly Deal for the upteenth time, I really don’t have anything better to do. Surprising to most people, Sam doesn’t come with us on all our adventures. He really does have to work, so the kids and I are the ones that visit most of the museums, spend more time exploring National Parks and things like that. Having HIM take the kids down to the swimming hole while I relax in a hammock or pound out 6 blog posts that have been bouncing around in my head for weeks guilt free is just awesome. He doens’t have anything better to do either.

2. Less cooking and meal prep. This can happen in a couple of ways. Either we are at an all-inclusive resort (cruise or something similar) or we are with people and split the meal assignments. I don’t mind cooking a little. Just not the whole time. Or we budget to eat out. A lot. Typically this also includes gaining at least 10 lbs over the course a week!

3. Fun things to do. It wouldn’t be a vaction if there wasn’t FUN! Swimming everday, playing games, campfires, canoeing, but mostly just spending time all together as a family.

4. Away from the “house”. Yes. Currently this means leaving the Airstream. I realize most people vacation IN their travel trailers, but for us it would be NOT in the trailer. Our most recent vacation to Camp Noyo we were in a tent for a week. We are also scheming possibly a cruise, and we’ve even talked about renting a house on Air BnB or something simliar just to change things up.

5. Four to seven days long. Vacations don’t last forever. We do get itchy to get back to our normal schedule, but at the same time it also takes time to RELAX. The first evening we were at Camp Noyo we put the kids to bed and just stared at each other. “What on Earth are we going to do for 7 days?” We wondered. Two days later I was thinking that I could probably stay here forever. 3 days after that I was ready to get back to our normal routines. Four to seven days is time enough to relax, but not too long that we go crazy.

I don’t foresee us “vacationing” very often. Like most people, we do have to work to pay the bills, but unlike most people we don’t get paid vacation. Sam has a pretty good system for planning in vacation or free time into his work schedule, but it does take some sacrifice on my part and extra work days on others for him. Despite the extra effort to earn our vacation, we still need it. It feels so good to just let go and relax for a short period of time.

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Mommy Diaries

Slowing Down

Suddenly I feel like I have more time. Its amazing. Even with the planning, the scouting, living in a small space and traveling frequently, I definitely feel like I have more time to fit it all in. Traveling and living in 188 square feet of movable space just gives me less to stress over. There’s no garden to weed (or plant), lawn to mow, homework to do, social obligations to meet (could be a con on this list I guess), and all the other activities that seem to fill up the cracks in my life. I’m not saying those types of things are bad, they just aren’t want I want to focus on right now.

In all fairness, the last four weeks have been abnormally crazy. Selling our stuff, spending time with friends and family, remodeling the Airstream and making quilts have kept our lives at almost a sprint. I was tired. Too tired to blog at night, too tired to edit photos, too tired to wake up early, and mostly I was just trying to keep my head above water. Between working to feed the family and working on the remodel, Sam was busy enough I felt like we never saw each other. I missed sitting across from him at the dinette in the evenings, and watching the sun come up together in the mornings. Before traveling, I don’t think I realized how much I disliked being “busy”.

One of my favorite quotes ever is by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He said,  “Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life. Is it?”

Busyness as a Badge copy

So many times with my photography business I would get jealous of my peers who appeared to be “booked” or “busy” all the time. They blogged frequently, they posted to social media daily, and just seemed so popular. I wanted that. I wanted the recognition, the clients, the success. But at what cost? Without that aspect of my life pulling at my thoughts and taking time away from my family, I’m suddenly happier. Totally feels backward. I’m more happy spending that recovered time exploring with my children and editing photos of MY kids instead of someone else’s. My kids aren’t going to be little forever. While I don’t regret the time and energy I put into becoming the photographer that I am today, I also recognize that there is a time and a season for everything. Now it is time to simplify. Enjoy life. Spend time together without menial distractions while my kids are still young and I can have a greater influence on who they will become.

Sam and I sat outside and watched the sun set behind the mountains. They clouds turned from a dusty white, to a calm pink, to a blazing crimson and then faded back to dusty white again. I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to sit and watch that beautiful progression before. It was breathtaking and worth every effort it took to get here.